Lets Pray For The Best

 

Hello! Happy Ramadhan everyone. Here am I again writing about Man as usual hahahaha. So far, our relationship is going deeper and serious. I scared huhuhu.

My dad already decide my dowry but still it depends on Man how much he willing/ can afford to give. But my dad punya number tu still okay lah. I never thought that amount. Tak tahu nak sedih ke apa hahahah.

My dad kan risau aku nak kawin dengan Man. Bukan risau apa. Man tu jenis lembut je orangnya. Ayah takut aku jadi isteri derhaka, duk jerit-jerit ke marah husband sendiri. Hahahhaahhahahaha ayah kata aku garang. Dia takut aku jadi isteri derhaka 😂 Tak sangka ayah aku boleh fikir macam tu. Aku pun tak pernah terbayang. Tapi ada betul gak kan. Aku pun seram dengan diri sendiri huhuh. Tapi so far, Man kata aku masih hormat dia lagi. Perangai aku behave lagi, masih elok lagi, tak teruk pun. Then okay lah kot kan. Semoga aku tak baran tak kena masa dengan husband aku nanti. Amin.

Man ajak kawin next year. Hmm belum bebetul plan lagi. Tunggu dia habis kursus lah kot baru free nak bincang benda ni. Lagipun sekarang masih PKPB, tak boleh nak rentas negeri settle apa yang patut. Hmmmm macam banyak je benda nak buat kalau kahwin. Aku saving kahwin pun takde ni. Ada saving holiday je huhuh, cane nak kawin? Aku nak gi jalan, taknak buat saving kawin huhuhuh. Apa ni, jannah baru 27 tahun dah kena decide benda besar macam ni.

At one point rasa, menyesalnya kawin lewat camni. Orang lain anak semua dah besar dah. And another side aku happy je dapat buat apa aku nak buat cuma lonely sikit ahhh sebab cik abang kita duduk jauh, tak boleh nak merendekk selalu hahahahahahah. K bai. 

Selamat berpuasa semua. Semoga Ramadhan tahun ni lebih bermakna from previous years. Jannah dah ready mental dah ni raya sensorang. But sokay, dah raya sorang dah kan last year, so small matter je lah. Jannah power. You can do it!



Thank you for your time :)

What is the best for me?

 

Hello gaiss. Good day! Just wanna story something again here. Well, as i am writing here, i already in a serious relationship with Man. Then we did discuss life after marriage as we both LDR, not in the same place. 

Before this, i never thought that i'll be a married woman. Never cross in my mind. I already plan few rumah orang tua to stay in later when i old. I plan everything nicely. I'll be a nice aunty that will provide anything for my anak sedara. And mana tahu suddenly Man come into my life and ask for marriage. Not just marriage, as a housewife also. He ask me to stay at PD with him, stay at home, take care of the house and kids. 

And i was like o.O I never thought i'll be married. Never thought i'll be a housewife. Never. It never cross in my plan before. And when it happen, i broke down. Because this is not what i plan to be in my future. What will happen to me? I never look down on housewife yaa, dont get me wrong. It just me, i cannot imagine i'm being a housewife.

I'm not from a rich family. So every time i want something, i need to work for it. Then my dad sent me further study to get better job so that i can get what i want. I'm loving my life at this moment. I can get what i want. I can eat what i want. No one will bother me. But, out of sudden, i'll be housewife. With no income. My lifestyle quite lavish. I spent whatever i want. I can travel every year or anytime i want. But if i get married, impossible i can get what i always do now. I need to sacrifice myself. I need to downgrade myself. I need to go back to zero. I dont know whether i still can do the same after marriage. 

It really got me like crazy. I donno what to do. I havent talk with my parent yet. But, his family suggest me to be housewife. But they say, benda boleh discuss. Bukannya nak paksa aku terus jadi housewife. But, i felt very sad. No one can understand what i feel inside. Mostly, they say whats wrong being housewife. Well, nothing wrong with it. It just me! I need to sacrifice everything! Everything! You know how much i love stayin in KL. Then, i need to move to PD which got nothing! I love shopping, then since im not working, how can i shopping? I love holiday and travelling. Then can i travelling? 

After i know Man's life, for sure i wont able to ask more since his mom dont have better life and she struggling to earn and living the family. So, it burden me more. You know how frustrated i am. Please lah somebody comfort me. I am really sad. I dont know with whom should i talk to. But, i am really frustrated, sad and speechless. I want to talk with someone, but i dont want to aibkan his side. You know what i mean. I am at the end of the alley, and got two junction and donno which path should i take. Should i let him go, and stay like this forever. Or living new way of life, maybe at the end there will be something that worth my sacrifice. I dont know what to do anymore.

As for now, i still can dodge that question. But, donno for how long. We'll just see. I need to talk with my parent first. Since they are the one who spent every penny, sweat and tears to raise me like how i am now. Then, just wait till the moment i can discuss with my parent lah. Till then, i just no need to think so much. Kan? GG. Hahahah.   


Thank you for your time :)