Doubt ...


Olaaa! Hope you are doing great. Tengah alang-alang baru sudah settle kerja semua ni, so rasa macam nak story kat sini. Nak cerita kat orang, takut orang rasa cringy pulak. Sini at least anonymous hahahahaha

So far, my life is still okay lah, On par. I have thought to continue my master, but i donno whether i'm tough enuff to go through the journey. Rasa macam dah bodoh lah pulak nak belajar. I miss the convocation feel. Seronok time convo je. The pre-feeling tu, takde lah seronok sangat. Tapi mesti seronok kalau i fulfill my inner satisfaction. I can set the nice record for my brother and sister. But i bet Najah will get more than i am since she wayyy bijak than me. Ye laaaa, the only daughter yang dapat straight As for UPSR and then went to MRSM some more. Bangga of coz lah parent aku. At least can feel the pride of having 'anak bijak'. Worth it jugak lah my effort hantar ambik dia dulu hahahahahah

Oh yaa, i just lost my grandma (mom's side) last 4th February. It doesnt feel real tho. I lost my grandparent at dad's side oredi. So now only left my TokBot. Before she passed away, i feel a bit grumpy la coz we've been postponed our family day quite sometime laa like twice maybe? So this time also tak jadi. So, i jadi a bit mad grumpy and all the mixed feeling lah. Sampai rasa taknak balik la. Lucky i went back on Sunday, and my grandma passed away Monday morning. Setan really have me during that period. Sampai my dad need to coax me and talk to me politely since i just cakap sepatah sepatah je since they told me to cancel the trip coz my grandma need to admit to hospital. I'm really sorry for that feeling. Idk why i feel that way. Haihhh

Actually, this supposed to be cringe-worthy punya post since yesterday man say something that make me smiling laa hahahahah. First he want to share something with me since he join some kelas agama like that la. After the sharing session, we talked about my school life lah what i do before waktu kurus dulu.

Me: Dah tua ni dah malas dah nak sukan, tak fit dah
Him: Ohh, sedar pun dah tua! Kalau cerita pasal kawin kang, jannah muda lagi
Me: Hahahah yang man nak emosi kenapa?
Him: Ye lah, penat nak tunggu bila jannah nak tua

Pastu tah cane boleh cerita pasal jenis barang dapur. Pastu aku bagitahu lah aku tak familiar sangat jenis-jenis ikan ni

Him: Punoh. Tak reti jenis ikan pulak da
 Me: Haa, so jannah tak tahu kan. Boleh lah reject jannah kan?
Him: Takpe, boleh belajar. Jangan risau

Kalau dia nak video call, dia call je takde tanya ke apa. Aku kalau kat rumah, aku off je lah camera. Tak kuasa nak sauk pakai. Biarlah dia tengok muka dia sendiri ahahahahah. Then hari tu dia kena pi office nak settle something then ada nak repair barang. Time dia buat kerja tu alahai cane aku boleh nampak dia charming pulak. Dah lah kidal. Aiyooo, sejenis lemah ni dengan orang kidal hahahahahah

Kesimpulannya, hati aku dah mula sway dah ni. Dedua ada 50/50. Matilanakkk. Hahahahahahah. K bai!
Thank you for your time :)

Hati | Feeling


Hello. It's been a while!

I just really need to say something. But, i donno with whom should i let it out. My best friend just get married last two weeks. And i really at my bottom that day coz when the thought that i have nobody to lepak, to gosip and anything hit me, i cried. Even during the night before his solemnization, pun aku sempat nangis. I'm happy for him. But sad that he will not be there when i need him after this.

Anyway, i dont have that feeling like what you may have in mind now. Hahahah. i'm not being friendzone or been rejected! I selesa as friend only lol. We've been friend since form 3 until now. Then he know everything about me and i comfortable to do anything around him. I cannot have that feeling towards him since i'm too comfy as his bestfriend. And i dont want to be beyond that.

The thing is, i dont want to get married. Yes, you read it right. By this time, Nov 2018 (24 years old) i dont really think that i will get married. I already told my parent, my family, my friends that i willing to be andartu. I have no offence if one day, it will happen. I prepare myself already.

I used to do everything alone. Then, i dont see any purpose for me to get married. I'm making myself indipendent. Doing everything by my own. Actually, i scared to have someone enter my life. Scared whether he can understand and accept me for who i am. Yes, they will say yes at first place. But, as the time goes by, everything seem predictable. Hahahah but i'm okay because i already predict the ending

Next month my dad will go Umrah. And my mom asked him to pray for me to lembutkan hati aku untuk terima orang since i really resistant to be andartu. Hahahhaha. As for now, i prefer go with the flow.

This two guys i've been contact with. Aku rasa jahat gila. After done otp with A, then video call dengan lagi sorang pulak Hahahahhahaha. But tu lah. Tak tahu nak kata. Just go with the flow la. The fun part is, both have the same name, Man. Hahahhah one younger than me and the other one is older than me. Blurghhh. Of coz lah i choose older one. But, the younger one sometimes can make me sway.

Blerghh. I hate this feeling. Just let it be lah. We'll see how long they can stand with me. Anyway, have a nice day :)
Thank you for your time :)
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