Things to Ponder

 Hi semua! heheh lama sungguh tak bersua. Today saja je lah nak come here, coretkan something yang terkesan di hati.

Semalam tengah tengok tv, and ada scene dia cakap 'cuba tutup mata dan bayangkan moment termanis/terbahagia awak'. dan kita pun tanyalah cik husband soalan yang sama. Before dapat jawapan tu, saja lah menyakat dia. mesti moment beli nasi lemak untuk ex dia yada yada lol. takde penyakit cai penyakit kan aku ni. saje je hahaha

Husband: duduk depan ni, tatap mata. nak bagitahu ni

Me: okay ape dia *sambil tatap mata dia*

Husband: moment paling bahagia abang rasa dalam hidup adalah moment dimana abang sempat masuk bilik labour room sebelum ayang bersalin. Abang tahu ayang bukan jenis tahan sakit, tapi ayang cuba juga untuk push sampai lah terkeluar seketul Eyyash. Lepastu angkat Eyyash untuk azankan dia. Itulah moment paling bahagia dan termanis untuk abang. Terima kasih sayang *sambil kiss dahi*

Menitik lah air mata jantan kita ni dikk oii. Kita ni memang jenis tak tahan sakit. For real! And for me to go through the delivery process is something beyond my imagination. Allah Maha Baik sangat kat saya. My delivery process super smooth i would say for first timer. 

My due date is 25th December. Tapi 5th December tu time drive balik kerja tu rasa cramp gila perut. cramp yang rasa nak nangis lah sebab agak sakit. first time cramp sampai nangis. Tak expect brixton hick sebab due lambat lagi. Nak beranak pun bukan sebab bukan every 5 mins. dia datang kerap tapi tak tentu. Tapi sakit tu sampai nangis. Takut nak pergi hospital, takut false alarm. And kebetulan jugak Man tergerak hati nak balik KL walaupun hari khamis. Maybe sebab ada bagitahu dia macam kerap cramp kot. So pukul 10pm lebih tu Man bawak jugak pi PPUM sebab macam tak tahan sangat. Sampai sana, nurse check dah 3cm. so kena tahan ward kejap. Throughout the night memang tak boleh tidur. Contraction kuat betul yaaa. The nurse keep checking, end up tak tahan pergi kat caunter nurse mintak any ubat tahan sakit sebab tak tahan sangat. After check  dah 6cm dah. So epidural dah tak boleh pakai. So terpaksalah kita pasrah dan berserah je.

Pi check-in hospital around 10pm macam tu. Alhamdullilah anak keluar pukul 4.48am. Sakit tak lama sangat lah compare dengan orang lain. Alhamdulillah, Allah mudahkan sangat. Waktu delivery tu, ada gas lalok tu. Tahlah aku yang tak reti pakai ke apa. Orang kata kalau pakai tu tak rasa sakit, tapi aku rasa sakit je hahahah. Bak kata ibu aku, at least ada juga bantuan. Hospital government takde semua tu. Disebabkan saya beranak pun nak dekat subuh, nurse pun fresh lagi baru masuk kerja. Semua pun baik-baik belaka. Kawan saya beranak tempat sama, tapi petang, katanya nurse agak cengih lah. Alhamdulillah rezeki saya. Lahh tiberr throwback. Playback balik dalam memori moment tu. Now Eyyash tak bau masham yang sedap dah, now bau masham telur basi hahahha. 

 


Thank you for your time :)

Semoga Syurga Yang Terbaik Buat Suamiku

Assalamualaikum semua. Saya kembali lagi after sooo long. Last year whole year saya takde post anything ehh. Amazing. Mungkin last year, life terlalu menyenorokkan mungkin. Malas nak flashback. Okay, let's cut the story short and proceed to the actual topic today hehehe.

This month, government servant got bonus. I think this is the first time they got four figure bonus, unlike RM500-RM700 before. And I thought that was just rumours going around. So, nevermind lah. Aku pun bukannya kerja gomen kannn lol.

Tapi guwe kelupaan yang suamiku kerja gomen. So, dia pun dapat jugak lah rezeki tu. To my suprise, dia dapat je bonus tu, dia dah niat nak belikan gelang emas untuk aku. Never in my intention, have that thought. Tak pernah terlintas pun nak request something from him. That is his hard earned money. I did saw him kerja macam nak rak. Mana nak mengajar student, mana nak buat project, mana nak handle KIK. Dah tanggungjawab dia, kerja dia kan. So for me, his bonus, ikut suka lah dia nak spend untuk dia.

Tapi Man ni, ada duit lebih je, mesti dia bagi aku. Dia buat part time, repair tv ke, washing machine ke, semua duit tu mesti dia bagi aku semuanya. Aku tak minta pun, tapi dia sentiasa berusaha penuhi apa impian aku, what's my need. Saya terharu saya. Dia tidak berharta, but he put me as his priority every time.

At one point, i scared if his mom felt offended with this. Yelah, kot lah dulu bujang, dia tak macam ni. Tapi lepas kawin, every penny of him, is mine. I am grateful for that. Semoga syurga buatmu suamiku yang telah berusaha dengan penuh jerih payah buat keluarga kecil kita ni.

  


Thank you for your time :)

Alhamdulillah, I'm Married Now!

 Assalamualaikum guys! Jannah dah kahwin! Tolong lah terkejut jugak.

How come perempuan yang kata taknak kahwin, end up kahwin at age 28 years old? Kenapa Jannah buat keputusan drastik ni? Why why why?

To be honest, aku pun tak tahu. It just happen like that. Dari bertunang, pilih tarikh then boom majlis nikah. Everything went extremely smooth macam lepas satu, satu urusan dipermudahkan. Tipu lah kalau kata takde masalah kan. But, surprisingly everything macam sap sap soi settle semua. 

Pada 4 Jun 2022, hari sabtu pukul 10 pagi macam tu, saya dah sah jadi isteri Mohd Salman Safwan Bin Mansor. Hahahahah tak percaya nya Jannah dah jadi isteri orang. Overall, not much changes happen this one month. 

Tapi tu lah, lepas kahwin ni kan emosi dia lain macam gila. Aku bukan lah jenis mengempeng sangat. Tapi lepas kawin, first day Man pergi kerja, rasa rindu sangat-sangat. Tak tahu nak kata cane lah. Pastu Man pun sampai nak nangis dia kata rindu punya pasal. Lain macam yaa aura lepas kawin ni hehehe.

Aku agak sedih lah kena tinggal sorang. Balik kampung dua kali, drive sorang je walaupun ada suami. Sebabnya, Man busy. Maka drive lah Jannah dengan berlinangnya air mata. We both consider pjj for this next few weeks sebab he busy with the HUT and kemasukan Bintara. Busy with all that preparation what not. Tapi paling sebak terharu semalam punya kes lah. Dia busy with the preparation. Then dalam pukul 9 malam macam tu, aku bagitahu aku tak sedap badan, tapi makan dah pe semua update kat dia. And macam biasa he act nonchalantly. Pastu tetiba dia text dia lapar. So aku reply lah beli burger ke apa. Tetiba dengar macam bunyi notification phone dia depan rumah. Ahh mustahil lah dia balik. Pukul 12 lebih dahh. Sekali dia bukak pintu. Aaaaa terus Jannah yang cengeng ni meleleh air mata nangis tengok Man masuk rumah.

Menangis sebab rasa bersalah sangat sangat sangat sebab dia balik kl even dah lewat gila. Padahal waktu tu dia boleh je guna waktu tu untuk rehat sebab dapat lepas awal. Tapi, dia balik rumah sebab aku kata badan aku tak sedap. Rasa bersalah sangat sebab kesiankan dia penat bali krumah tengah malam. Esok pagi buta nak gerak balik PD balik. Pukul 5 pagi, gerak balik. Sampai rumah 12.30 pagi. berapa jam je nak tidur. barai wehh

For sure aku seronok dia balik. At the same time, rasa guilty and sedih jadi beban orang. Patut ke lepas ni taknak cakap pape dahh. Takut nak susahkan orang lagi. Tahu suami memang sinonim dengan berkorban, tapi the husband need to be pampered too. Thank you abang sayang, korbankan badan yang penat tu untuk jumpa Jannah 😘




Thank you for your time :)

Is my choice correct?

 

Yesterday mark one year our relationship and no one wish anything. I'm expecting some wish or surprise from him but jokes on me. Silly me having high expectation. Maybe he thought our anniversary is on different date. Donno.

As time goes by right, I keep questioning myself. Am I doing the right decision? You know how much I regretting my decision. Does my tears berbaloi for all this? I've used to be pampered by guy. All the guy I meet before him always pamper me by their affection. Always make me felt loved and assure me they like me. But in Man's case he's like robot. I need to tell him what I want what I need etc. If feels like I'm begging for his attention and affection.   

Somemore, recently Piyok and Iszman just getting engaged. Hahahahahaha lil bit hurt deep down my heart. They met their partner kejap than me. But they are going to next step. Iszman really treat me like a queen. If not because his age, I will accept him. I almost swing because of how he treat me. I felt loved. Then i ditch him and pick Man because Man is older than me and he is left handed. How silly my decision right?

they have found their happiness. While me still despair with Man. I never cry because of guy before. But Man make me cry almost everyday! I felt like not worth at all. I've been in cloud nine before, but now I'm faking my happiness. If to conclude right, I can tell you I cannot recall my happiest moment with Man. Man is a good guy, but donno lah. Maybe I'm soooo used to be pampered before and Man acting contra from I used to be really make me want to end the relationship.

Now I understand why other couple stay eventho they keep crying. Before this I thought, they fool for staying but naahh. Now I learnt my lesson in a hard way. 

I'm choosing this big decision because everyone saying Man is a good guy. My mom also like him and keep ask for his help. So, I choose him for the sake of my mom. I plan to be andartu, and I change my plan because of him. He better treat me right. Make sure all my tears worth the sacrifice.

Bayangkan after we get into relationship, he started his training for 10 months. Then after the training finished, he's busy with the promotion stuff. He better treat me right after all this settle eh. I felt jealous when I saw other couple feeling loved with their partner. Going out dating. Feel lovey dovey, while me crying my eyes out because he got no time for me. Nak story pape, boipreng takde masa nak dengar. Nak keluar lepak, boipreng busy jadi bangla jadian. Takde function pun aku in relationship. Takda beza pun aku single dulu dengan ada boipreng sekarang ni, Bila cakap kat Man kang, dia terasa. But the reality is like that. Dia kena terima lah, eventho very pain to swallow.

I'll just wait till end of this year whether my sacrifice worth or not. I'm tired actually. But I need to fake myself. What a pitiful life I have. Congratulation Jannah!

   


Thank you for your time :)

It's Always Man

Hello. Yesterday got one cute conversation with Man. We both ni kenal from our mutual. We first met at Jesselton Point sebab ayah suruh Kak Elly cari or tengokkan aku kat sana sebab dia risau aku holiday dua orang je dengan Syakirah. And Kak Elly pulak bawak Man ni as driver. So Kak Elly suruh lah Man ni mesej aku. Pastu Man ni cerita dia ni jenis takkan mesej even ada number orang tu ke apa. Dia mesej pun sebab Kak Elly paksa dia mesej aku.

Nak jadi cerita, ada lah student dia ni nak kenenkan Man dengan in charge dia. Tunjuk fb and bagi number pe semua. Tapi lepas in charge student dia tu dok tanya mana tulang rusuk dia, terus dia bluetick je orang tu hahah. Dia kata dia kawan je semua orang sebab dia single kan. Tapi boleh sangkut dengan aku lak

Man: Tersangkut dengan jannah. Dah lah haram takde persamaan langsung

Me: Masih sempat lagi nak patah balik. Belum terlambat lagi kalau nak cari lain

Man: waklu!

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂 *lmao*

Man: Man dah takut dah ingatkan jannah marah man cakap macam tu. Bila man cakap leklok, jannah marah. Bila cakap macam tu, gelak pulak. Apoo?

Me: Lawak lah wehh. Dia macam budak nerd ajak gaduh taw. Hahahahaha lawak gilaaaa!

Bayangkan empat tahun aku kenal Man ni, waklu tu ayat dia yang paling kasar dia pernah cakap kat aku. Hahahahahhaha lawak nok sebab tak sangka man pun reti cakap macam tu. Ohh hipokrit dalam diam eh!

And aku rasa man sekarang ni memang dah tak sabar nak kahwin lah. Dia tengah countdown habis kursus. Pastu asyik cerita pasal nak kahwin je. Lately ni busy dengan kerja luar. Pastu dia tetengah cerita pasal tension kerja dia pe semua, then sempat lagi selit:

Man: Tak sabar nak cecepat usung borang nikah

Me: Ape kena mengena borang nikah dengan man tension pasal kerja?

Man: Biarlah lah. Kalau dah kahwin nanti, penat kerja balik tu boleh cerita, mengendeng kat wife. Cepatlah kahwin jannah

Lately ni dia busy with his work. And aku pun dok makan hati sebab dia busy takde spent time dengan aku. Dok merajuk dengan dia for past few days. Rasa bersalah sangat kat dia. Faham je dia busy. Tapi dia tu bukan jenis bagitahu pape. Dah settle semua, baru dia bagitahu. So rasa macam tak diingati pulak lol. I did felt guilty for behaving like that. Tapi man jenis dia minta maaf je, and dia ignore je kekadang kalau aku buat perangai.  I'm amaze with his patience level ya. Semoga man sentiasa kekal sabar dengan jannah. You're one of the best gift i had through out my 27 years ni. I'm thankful for that 💗


Thank you for your time :)

IDK What Should I Do

 

Hi. The same girl pouring her heart here coz have no one to talk to. It's been a while i've been searching the meaning of love. What is love? How you know you love that person? Can someone explain to me what does love mean? Because this question keep bugging me. I dont know whether i love Man or i just go with the flow? I cannot confirm myself. Am i getting attached like this means i love him?

To be frank kan, dengan Man ni aku banyak betul nangis. Nangis makan hati, nangis sebab i'm expecting more but he's not reaching my expectation. I dont know why i jadi too sensitive. I cannot force him to response as per i like. And he also don't want to fake himself just to pleasure me. Then i am sad because of that. Ape doo? I understand it's wrong for making him follow my way. Salah aku jugak coz setiap orang ada cara memasing.

But one thing for sure, he love me more than i do. Man terlalu baik weh. Sampai level aku macam termakan budi dia sebab dia baik sangat dengan aku and aku decide just stick with him. I don't know how much he endure himself for the sake of me. Aku melalut merepek angin tak tentu pasal pe semua, dia telan je pujuk aku. Aku yang selfish tak pernah fikir pasal dia. Dok fikir sensitif aku terasa aku. Tapi sensitif dia, terasa dia, aku tak pernah heran. He's trying his best to make me happy, and what did i do in return? Macam takdok.

I dont know why aku rasa heavy sangat dengan relationship ni. I think maybe because we both LDR. Kalau we both in the same place, i dont feel this heavy kot. What makes it funny kan, selalunya perempuan yang excited dok tanya bila nak masuk meminang? Jomlah kawin. Tak sabarnya nak kawin. But in my case, Man yang tanya soalan tu semua 😂 Meaning that he really want me in his life, i assume lah kan hahaha. But why aku tak rasa the same way eh? I thought this marriage will burden me. The main issue here kan, i need to mengalah which i insist not to around one year and the result is we still LDR even we married.

My thought, why kena kahwin if still LDR sebab sekarang pun LDR jugak. So, nothing change pun kan? Obviously he cannot move here because of his job. And my job is very limited which only at the big city je, hence why i scared to move on.

Tolonglah, i have no answer for my question. I need to check with few friends kot. But entah lah hahaha. Orang akan kata buat istikharah kan, tapi hmmm donno. Why im so weird one? Kenapa none of google answer relate to my situation? Pfft... It's not healthy yaa if this thing keep lingering my mind. I should feel happy now since i have someone by my side. But, i dont felt the excitement. I dont feel the butterfly. Why is that?

To be honest lah kan, aku rasa aku macam still sayang Fizal lagi. But the situation make me move on. He got his own family now. I dont want to be punca family orang problem. But once a while, he'll text he miss me. He want me etc. Entahlah nok, just anggap bukan jodoh kami. We love each other, but we were not meant to be. 

And because Man's job yang super busy tu jugak lah makes me feel empty. Dia bagitahu dah, dia busy kerja bukan buat pape pun. Aku kena percaya dia. Jangan sebab dia busy, aku pi cari orang lain sebab sekarang banyak kes orang ketiga sebab macam tu lah. Dia minta maaf sebab dia busy and jarang ada masa and hoping me to understand.

Obviously, aku faham je kerja dia. But at the same time i did feel sad and lonely. Macam apa point relationship sekarang ni kalau he's not there when i'm sad, when i have something to share. After he's busy with his day, then end of the day he said penat. For sure aku suruh dia rehat. Takkan lah nak tambah drama kat dia yang dah sedia penat tu. You get what i mean? Dulu single, yes faham lah no one to talk to. But now i have bf, but the situation still the same. Interesting is it? Kekadang tu bila dah stress sangat i cari outsider to talk to which not good lah because i supposed to talk to my bf but the situation doesnt allow that.

So, all this reasons makes me reluctant and hesitate to further this relationship. I need solid answer whether its backup or deny my argument. But i dont find the answer anyway. Need to keep digging. And i should stop thinking and feeling sad about this situation. Banyak-banyakkan lah berdoa mintak jalan petunjuk kat Allah kan. Maybe tahap kebergantungan aku kat Allah tu tak tinggi and i still need to improve myself for a better Muslimah. Dia je tempat mengadu kan. So, i need to go to that direction.

 


Thank you for your time :)

Appreciation Post for Man

 

Hello. Welcome back! This post specially dedicated to Man. For all the things he's done for me.

He's a very soft spoken. He never raise his voice to me. He always the one who give in when i made fuss. He will say sorry whenever i mad no matter its his fault or not. He will try clear the situation before sleep so that it wont lasting for days.

Eventho he dont give me big reaction when i told him story. Yes, obviously i am mad because of that. But, that is how he is. He's not someone who can give the same vibe, big reaction as i want. But, i need to accept him as what he is. Like how he can cooperate with my madness, my fussy, my annoyance. Vice versa. I have my flaw. He got his flaw. We both need to compliment each other's flaws.

Soft spoken bf 👏 grumpy gf. That's us lol. He'll talk softly whenever he wake me up for Subuh. 

For example: Sayang, bangun. Subuh. Dah pukul berapa ni. I love you sayang. Bangun taw. Nanti lewat.

While me: Bangun bangun bangun! Dah pukul berapa ni. Nak Subuh kan. Bangun cepat cepat ccepat. Okay, bye.

See the difference? Hahahahah. He without fail will say i love you everyday. While me, will say it occasionally. Depends on my mood. I dont know. Maybe i'm not willing to say that word frequently. I dont know. I scared. We dont know future. Eventho we're planning to get married soon. Maybe next year. Since this year, he's busy with training after training. Because too many things to settle for the marriage documents. Somemore Malaysia's Covid situation havent getting better eventho two years has passed. What a joke from government 😐 

In conclusion for this post, i'm just hoping that Man can increase his patience and keep Sabar while facing me, living with me. I have too many flaws hence why i get scared to be attached. Everytime we fight, i will think about break up. Then he'll scold me for saying that. He said 'i love you then i need to accept the way you are. Cannot simply say break up. We need to resolve this issue not run away.' 

Thank you Man for having me in your life. Hope we can grow old together and compliment each other's flaws. 


Thank you for your time :)

Sweet...

 

Last weekend, Man datang kl huhuhuh. Katanya nak buat chiropractic dengan coach. Tapi coach tak free pulak sebab dia dah ada patients kat Kuala Kubu Baru. Then takkan lah nak biar Man sensorang kan. Msalahnya dia datang time aku tengah PKP. Tak boleh rentas daerah, tak boleh dine in. Haram tak tahu nak buat apa. Nasib baik lah dia nak cari baju raya family dia.

Pastu aku kan tak boleh puasa, so tengah hari tu dia saje je bagitahu kat kfc, tanya aku nak tapaw pape tak. Padahal aku ada je makanan ibu aku bagi. Tapi mengada jugak nak buy something. Hahahahah A+ effort for him sebab tak segan ye nak masuk kfc beli makanan untuk aku. 

Pastu time pi Paradigm Mall, shopping for his family kan lama kat Brands Outlet tu. Dia kata macam ni rupanya perempuan shopping. Patut lah lama. He got this shopping experience with me, hahahah aku rasa bangga sat.

Patutnya nak masakkan dia carbonara for iftor, tapi last minute kak elly call suruh tapaw makan kat rumah dia. So, dia tak dapat makan masakan aku. Kek batik tu pun jadi lah yee. Tu pun balance tah berapa lama punya tahh.

Dia kononnya nak datang last two weeks. Tapi that time aku tengah marah/merajuk dengan dia. And dia pun ada kerja, so tu yang dia buat kerja gila datang kl last Friday tu. Tu pun petang tu gaduh sikit dengan dia lol.

Lepas dia dah balik, jadi rindu pulak. Apa ni :( Lagi jumpa, lagi rindu. Tak suka lah macam ni. Macam mana jannah nak acah-acah tough huhuhuh.

Doa-doakan lah kami ya. Hmm neves lah. Aku dah sayang dia sikit. Tapi bila fikir lepas kawin punya life, aku takut balik haihh laa. Sokay lah, just pray the best lah ye. 

And for second year, aku raya kat kl. I feel numb. Tak tahu lah nak sedih ke idok. Last year tak rasa pape. Just sedih time dengar takbir malam raya tu je. Last year pi raya rumah fida. This year tak sure lah lepas ke idok nak pi kawasan rumah dia. Tapi takpe lah, saya dah ada lauk raya ibu poskan. Ada rendang daging, ayam masak merah dengan sambal jawa. Rebus nasi impit je. Nak makan lontong kat rumah cik anim. Tapi segan lah. Tapi aku nak makan lontong huhuhuh. Tengok lah pagi raya tu nanti cane. Selamat Hari Raya in advance!


Thank you for your time :)

Lets Pray For The Best

 

Hello! Happy Ramadhan everyone. Here am I again writing about Man as usual hahahaha. So far, our relationship is going deeper and serious. I scared huhuhu.

My dad already decide my dowry but still it depends on Man how much he willing/ can afford to give. But my dad punya number tu still okay lah. I never thought that amount. Tak tahu nak sedih ke apa hahahah.

My dad kan risau aku nak kawin dengan Man. Bukan risau apa. Man tu jenis lembut je orangnya. Ayah takut aku jadi isteri derhaka, duk jerit-jerit ke marah husband sendiri. Hahahhaahhahahaha ayah kata aku garang. Dia takut aku jadi isteri derhaka 😂 Tak sangka ayah aku boleh fikir macam tu. Aku pun tak pernah terbayang. Tapi ada betul gak kan. Aku pun seram dengan diri sendiri huhuh. Tapi so far, Man kata aku masih hormat dia lagi. Perangai aku behave lagi, masih elok lagi, tak teruk pun. Then okay lah kot kan. Semoga aku tak baran tak kena masa dengan husband aku nanti. Amin.

Man ajak kawin next year. Hmm belum bebetul plan lagi. Tunggu dia habis kursus lah kot baru free nak bincang benda ni. Lagipun sekarang masih PKPB, tak boleh nak rentas negeri settle apa yang patut. Hmmmm macam banyak je benda nak buat kalau kahwin. Aku saving kahwin pun takde ni. Ada saving holiday je huhuh, cane nak kawin? Aku nak gi jalan, taknak buat saving kawin huhuhuh. Apa ni, jannah baru 27 tahun dah kena decide benda besar macam ni.

At one point rasa, menyesalnya kawin lewat camni. Orang lain anak semua dah besar dah. And another side aku happy je dapat buat apa aku nak buat cuma lonely sikit ahhh sebab cik abang kita duduk jauh, tak boleh nak merendekk selalu hahahahahahah. K bai. 

Selamat berpuasa semua. Semoga Ramadhan tahun ni lebih bermakna from previous years. Jannah dah ready mental dah ni raya sensorang. But sokay, dah raya sorang dah kan last year, so small matter je lah. Jannah power. You can do it!



Thank you for your time :)

What is the best for me?

 

Hello gaiss. Good day! Just wanna story something again here. Well, as i am writing here, i already in a serious relationship with Man. Then we did discuss life after marriage as we both LDR, not in the same place. 

Before this, i never thought that i'll be a married woman. Never cross in my mind. I already plan few rumah orang tua to stay in later when i old. I plan everything nicely. I'll be a nice aunty that will provide anything for my anak sedara. And mana tahu suddenly Man come into my life and ask for marriage. Not just marriage, as a housewife also. He ask me to stay at PD with him, stay at home, take care of the house and kids. 

And i was like o.O I never thought i'll be married. Never thought i'll be a housewife. Never. It never cross in my plan before. And when it happen, i broke down. Because this is not what i plan to be in my future. What will happen to me? I never look down on housewife yaa, dont get me wrong. It just me, i cannot imagine i'm being a housewife.

I'm not from a rich family. So every time i want something, i need to work for it. Then my dad sent me further study to get better job so that i can get what i want. I'm loving my life at this moment. I can get what i want. I can eat what i want. No one will bother me. But, out of sudden, i'll be housewife. With no income. My lifestyle quite lavish. I spent whatever i want. I can travel every year or anytime i want. But if i get married, impossible i can get what i always do now. I need to sacrifice myself. I need to downgrade myself. I need to go back to zero. I dont know whether i still can do the same after marriage. 

It really got me like crazy. I donno what to do. I havent talk with my parent yet. But, his family suggest me to be housewife. But they say, benda boleh discuss. Bukannya nak paksa aku terus jadi housewife. But, i felt very sad. No one can understand what i feel inside. Mostly, they say whats wrong being housewife. Well, nothing wrong with it. It just me! I need to sacrifice everything! Everything! You know how much i love stayin in KL. Then, i need to move to PD which got nothing! I love shopping, then since im not working, how can i shopping? I love holiday and travelling. Then can i travelling? 

After i know Man's life, for sure i wont able to ask more since his mom dont have better life and she struggling to earn and living the family. So, it burden me more. You know how frustrated i am. Please lah somebody comfort me. I am really sad. I dont know with whom should i talk to. But, i am really frustrated, sad and speechless. I want to talk with someone, but i dont want to aibkan his side. You know what i mean. I am at the end of the alley, and got two junction and donno which path should i take. Should i let him go, and stay like this forever. Or living new way of life, maybe at the end there will be something that worth my sacrifice. I dont know what to do anymore.

As for now, i still can dodge that question. But, donno for how long. We'll just see. I need to talk with my parent first. Since they are the one who spent every penny, sweat and tears to raise me like how i am now. Then, just wait till the moment i can discuss with my parent lah. Till then, i just no need to think so much. Kan? GG. Hahahah.   


Thank you for your time :)

Next Step

 

Hello everyone! I am good here. Finally after so long, I now have boyfriend hahahahahaha. For record kan, this is my second boyfriend after my high school boyfriend 😂 Along the way, i did know few people and well~ Funny thing is i dont even know how i can give in & surrender like this? This is so not me! It's whether i'm tired d or he's a nice/ good boy that i cannot lose him. Or maybe i want to take advantage of him? Urghh, i dont even know the reason. Well, the damage has been done so just go with the flow lah kan.

December is Man's birthday. And i did asked him what he want for his birthday and i did regret for asking that question lol. 

Me: Man nak hadiah apa?
Him: takpe lah. Apa yang Man nak ni, Man yang nak.
Me: nak apa? Kalau Garmin, jannah tak mampu nak bagi lagi huhuhu. Support half can lah
Him: Man nak tunang. Boleh tak?

Tergamam sekejap kita dengar soalan tu. And it went by like that~ His dad said after he finished kursus, will talk about this. Lucky dia kursus 9 bulan. Lambat lagi lah kita mikior hal ni ye 😂 But, saya tak ready lagi. Jannah kecik lagi. Apa ni nak suruh jannah kahwin pulak 😑

Dah lah dia asyik busy je. Tak pernah umur ya, aku menangis hal remeh. Hari tu aku menangis sebab Man ignore aku sebab dia busy sangat! That's the thing. He say, i should proud he's important man in his office. But, no. I hate it! He has no time for me. Keep doing work and dont even have time when i sad, bored etc. I did felt no different like i'm used to be before when i'm single. Indeed, really generous with his feeling.

We havent discuss further about this. But seems like he macam nak PJJ. Urghhh, i dont want! Dulu kata boleh ulang alik, now tetiba jumpa weekend je. Memang lah kesian kalau dia ulang-alik PJ-PD, tapi taknak lah kena tinggal. Apa je beza dengan sekarang. Buat apa kawin macam tu. Geram aku. But, its okay. We'll discuss further about this lepas Man habis kursus nanti.

Hmm, rasanya tu je lah kot coretan untuk kali ni. jaga diri everyone. Stay safe!


Thank you for your time :)

Annoying but cannot resist.

 Hi, there! I'm back again with another story hikhikhik. Aku nak cerita, tapi aku lupa aku nak cerita apa. Cerita yang mana satu.

Oh ya, i did mention i like old, tall, dark, macho, left handed guy kan. But, the thing is Man is yes old. Yes taller than me *but not much tall pun* Yes, left handed. But, he's not dark and macho. He's got fair skin and baby face. Even my mom thought he's about the same age as mine eventho he's older than me.

I wonder how come he's sooo macho before he joined army? I mean, he's quite dark skin back then when he's still civillian. But after he joined army, he transform to a cute guy. How come like that. He's getting fairer as he growing old. Why so reversed one?

Oh yaa, he start getting daring yee nowadays. He's been using my photo as his DP for few days dah. Wow, daring sangat ye. Memula i did tegur lah. Then i lantak-kan je lah. Nanti lah baru pura-pura perasan hahahaha. And yesterday when he on call with me, suddenly his in-charge notice my name on the screen and he seems no shame ye calling my name. I felt bit overwhelmed lah. Kih.



He always ignore me. I mean it yaa when i say him ignoring me. He always bluetick me k and not reply me. Jannah agak menyirap ye di situ. Then when i talk to him and story something, he'll just no response or give response that i wanted. Not really sincere in my point of view. Annoying ye, but i keep craving him. Faham tak. Is this what it called 'love'? Duhh bencinyaa~

We dont really have things to talk to. Its basically a normal conversation. Then i wonder how we survive ehh? lol. To be honest, i am not ready for the next step. I am trying right now. I try to open up my heart for him. 

Oh anyway, Fizal did contact me again yaa saying he missing me. I wonder what happen in his life. I felt sorry for him, but he really need to know his stand. Hopefully he can go out from his problem. He's a good guy, for real. He's being the guy i used to admire and crush before. But you know, life is so unpredictable. Who know, i used to have a crush on him and he also have the same feeling to me. We just meet at the wrong time. We are having different timeline. I did have thought if i end up marrying Fizal, will he be happy since he keep longing and missing me now. Well, the damage already been done. So, just go with the flow. 

Praying that our future endeavors or path will go as we planned. Praying the best to all my friends as well. Be happy in your life. Try to get up when life try to bring you down. Try looking for things that can keep us on track




Thank you for your time :)

Nak kahwin ke taknak?

 

Hi, good evening! I'm back again with new story hikhikhik. 

My dad jenis tak bagi i go anywhere alone. But, kalau ikut hati dan perasan ni, i okay je kalau nak holiday or go trip alone. Ambil experience lah katanya. But my dad strictly dont allow me to do so. He say its too dangerous. And anyhow i need to obey him lah since he's my dad. Walaupun hatiku memberontak untuk berbuat sebaliknya.

Recently i really really really need to go trip. I already lock few places that i wanted. But, i have no friend to ajak. SInce my girlfriends is not into that somemore they married d and they not into the same thing i want to.

And there comes the thought that i should get married and i can go anywhere with my husband and i no need to think with whom should i go trip with. At that moment, i really consider to get married ya. What the... Nonsense gila kahwin sebab nak ada kawan trip coz i know my dad wont allow me go alone.

Then, i did told Man bout that hahahaha. In joking mood obviously la weh! 

Because all this while when Man asked me i always told him i'm still baby and still young. So, when i me myself come out with that sentence obviously he need to make sure. But after i say that sentence, i did felt regret a bit hahahaha. Then i just told him we think again next year la. Next year hopefully ready lah kot. 

Then i told him i did like one date next year which is 4.3.21 hahahah seems like countdown, but yeah. I like that date. But i seems so sudden for me lah. Too early. Takuttt huhuhu. But nevermind. I got other date as well which is 21.5.21 hikhikhik. It is in my birthday month and it is after raya i think. So, at least okay lah. Got time to melagha. But, tu lah. Aku sorang beriya tak jadi gak kan. Aku pun takut nak kahwin. Jammed! Kalau tanya Man, dia okay je bebila. 

Now, dia ulang alik PD-KL sebab involve dengan class kat Kem Sg Besi. Wonder mesti dia penat. But, if dia kahwin dengan aku nanti macam tu lah life dia. Why he want to trouble himself when he very free and easy now kan.

It's okay. We will discuss it further once we both already agree to tie the knot. Just pray the best for us yaa. Slowly i start to open myself to him. Hopefully, he's the one for me. I kinda obsess with him d. Ni yang menyampah ni. I dont like myself being like this :(



Thank you for your time :)

Tiada Tajuk

 

Hello everyone! Yesterday Man come to my place for dinner. He came quite early k. Aku pun tak balik kerja lagi, dia dah gerak mai my place. And kebetulan semalam aku balik lambat, ada discussion pulak last minute. Waktu dia sampai tu pun, aku belum keluar office lagi. 

Dah nama kerja unit beruniform kan, semua benda pun nak cepat dan on time. Gasak lah kau menunggu aku. Siapa suruh last minute. Kalau bagi tahu one day earlier, at least i can manage my time eventho sometimes when you wanna go back tu lah, tetiba ada orang cari.

Then dah sampai tempat makan tu, jannah macam biasalah makan macam bercinta. I'm really slow eater k. Jenis tak boleh makan cecepat. Just imagine, i'm just one third of my portion but Man's friend finish his food d and Man still left some. They said, they controlled their speed d hahahaha. Penat control makan slow. Tu habis slow dah for their pace. I just finish one third of my food je okay!

So disebabkan rasa guilty takut dorang tunggu lama since aku belum habis makan, tapi air dorang dua cawan pun dah habis tinggal dok ratah ais je lol. I offer to balik. Then Man kata lah nak tengok kereta cause last Tuesday, i got into accident. So he wanna check whether my car kemek or what not. Actually dia saje je k nak spent time dengan ittew. Pastu siap offer nak keluarkan kereta dari parking sebab kata parking spot to sempit, kena orang pro keluarkan. Cehh-cehh-cehh. Ngade-ngade.

After that i go back home. Reached my house, then he called nak satay or not. He tapawkan for me. The thing is kedai satay tu depan kedai makan kitorang makan tadi je. Nampak tak, banyak alasan dia cari ehh. Hahahaha lucky aku memang dah lama nak makan satay, so okay lah. Beli lah, tapawkan lah. Kasi chance. Then dia kata tak puas jumpa. Kejap sangat. Tu yang saja cari alasan.

Me: Nasib baik ada satay. Kalau takde satay tu, nak buat alasan apa?

Him: Buat je lah alasan pape. Air mineral ke chocolate ke pape je lah. Asalkan dapat jumpa

Then dia kata takde selfie pun hari ni sebab aku macam tak beriye nak selfie. So, dia taknak lah. Dia nak selfie time kita tengah tutup purse lah tengah gelak lah. Waktu duduk elok kat meja, toksey pulak nak selfie. Perangai sangat taw orang tua ni. Ish laa. 

So far, okay lah. But the thing is kan why i dont feel butterfly eh when i'm with him. I don't like him ke or i just like him because of his skill? Hmm aku confuse dengan diri sendiri ni. HELP! Huhuhu



Thank you for your time :)

Malu tak?

 

Hello gais. Long time no see. Hikhikhik. Sorry lah busy ada life lately. Hahahahah.

This week Man ada training kat Shah Alam for one week. Then yesterday dia cerita lah, officemate dia ada nak guna PC dia kat office and kebetulan his Whatsapp Web still log in on that PC. And kebetulan jugak last night dia ada sent me a photo with cool fever since he got sick. So his friend screencap that photo and my photo that wish morning to him and forward those photo to their office group whatsapp!

Hahahahahaha jenuh lah kena nganjing dengan member. Man kata, dah lah dalam kelas, tak boleh nak focus. He thought that i leak the photo to his friends. Then he remembered he didnt log out his Whatsapp on his PC.

Lucky group officemate je. Kalau group whole department lagi jenuh. Kang dia garang-garang dengan student dia kang, pastu mesti ada bahan 'Garangnya! Dengan Jannah kemain lembut mengada lagi cakap ye'. Hahahahhaa funny la wehhh. 

After this when he go back to his camp, mesti kena bahan lagi tu. Dia okay je, tak kisah dia kata. Lucky gambar aku bagi yang latest tu senonoh sikit, cuma poyo je lah aca-aca lawa sebab pakai filter hahahahhaha. Gasaklah kau nokk.

Just nak cerita tu je sebab actually aku pun malu gak sebab ada muka aku. Hahahahha cuma wonder how depth his friend baca the chat. If he go through the chat right, he can notice Man is the clingy one :D



Thank you for your time :)

Pray the best


Hello, happy Friday! Here am i again for another write up. This year, i'm quite active in blogging yaa. Maybe i have no one to talk to kot since Bob pun kahwin dah. So, cian takde siapa nak layan hukhukhuk.

Last night, Man asked me if i got dream anything ke. Surprisingly yes i do having a dream. I am very seldom got dream k and yet he teka dengan betulnya. Power siyot! The funny things is i dream about my bike got punctured tyre when i riding on it and i pump the tyre using clown punya balloon pump. Hahahha funny is it? How random my dream is.

But actually, he wanna tell me that he dream about us last night. What (?) 

Man: Malu lah nak cerita. Tapi Man mimpi kita kahwin
Me: Hmm tapi kan Man, selalunya akan jadi sebaliknya from the mimpi
Man: Mana ada, tak jugak. Sometimes bila kita buat istikharah, tu kan as petunjuk. Bukan dalam mimpi je. Maybe bila kita senang dengan dia, rasa selesa. Tu pun kira as petunjuk.
Me: Ye lah, tu kalau buat istikharah. Macam Jannah takde buat, so tetiba mimpi tu. Sebaliknya lah jadi. Man buat ke istikharah?
Man: Rahsia lah, mana boleh bagitahu. Jannah takyah buat. Follow je apa jadi nanti. Tapi tak puas lah mimpi tu. Jenuh Man nak sambung mimpi tu balik. Dok terjaga tetengah malam, kawan kejut. Man nak tengok macam mana boleh kahwin. Mana fasa bercinta. Macam mana Jannah yang keras kepala ni setuju nak kahwin dengan Man.
Me: Hahahaha so, Man menyesal ke sebab Jannah keras kepala?
Man: Tak la. Nak tahu je macam mana

So conclusion nya, he did do some istikharah huhuh. Because i did asked him to come over my house this Raya Haji, but he seems reluctant. Then, i tawar hati for a while. Why he dont wanna come. Is he player or what. Then he did mentioned, he wanna wait until i really have feeling for him then he will come over. Cehh, coward! Nak kumpul semangat lah tu. Then lantak kau lah Man. Dengan aku, kemain manis mulut. Bila ajak jumpa parent, cuak. Funny loo.

What i can do now is, i'm the one who need to say yes, i want you for him to make the next move. And he always want me to text him first which i'm not that person. Eeeee, menyampah taw ittew. Perangai mengada mengalahkan perempuan ye. Sabar je lah aku. With him, i've done quite number of thing that i didnt do to other guys. Impressive how can i be this different. Wow Jannah wow~


Thank you for your time :)

What is the best option?


Hello! Jannah here. Remember tak previously i did mention Man beli rumah kat Perlis? And i've been contemplating because of that. Hahahahahah. Saya macam sudah nampak sinar cahaya ye tuan-tuan dan puan-puan 😁

Yesterday we macam sembang serious topic lah. Sebenarnya aku nak pancing dia nak pujuk dia beli rumah area KL/Selangor ni. But at the same time i also did plan to buy one.

Me: Kalau banyak tu, Jannah dah beli rumah dah lah Man
Him: Kenapa Jannah nak beli rumah? Jannah taknak duduk rumah Man ke?
Me: Rumah Man kat mana?
Him: Kat Perlis tu lah.
Me: Oh, taknak! Jannah nak duduk KL. So, jannah nak beli rumah kat area sini
Him: Taknak duduk kampung ke? Tak sayang Man ke?
Me: Taknak! Kalau balik weekend, can lah. Tapi Jannah membesar kat sini and nak terus stay sini. Hmmm kalau Man beli rumah kat sini baru Jannah sayang Man sangat-sangat-sangat-sangat
Him: Macam tu pun boleh ehh
Me: Mesti lah boleh. So, Man nak Jannah sayang tak? Beli rumah kat sini eh?
Him: Hmmmm second house nanti lah Man beli area situ

*Me dalam hati hikhikhikhik ye ada nampak sinar harapan*

So kesimpulannya, saya tak perlu nak risau sangat lah kan. Dia masih boleh dicucuk dengan lebih halus lagi. Benda ni kena buat secara halus yaa. Hahahahha happynya saya hukhukhuk 

And yesterday jugak dia suddenly ajak aku balik kampung dia (?) Uhuk! Tacoodddd huhuhuh. Aku pun belum bawak dia jumpa parents aku lagi lol. Ibu pun ada tanya hari tu, takde bawak Man datang raya ke & dia pun kata kenapa tak ajak dia datang raya rumah. Masalahnya dia pun balik kampung lama hari tu and aku pun baru je balik last week after CMCO. Nanti lah. Raya haji lah hahahahaha kalau aku nak bawak dia balik. Depends mood aku and sama ada dia berani nak datang ke idok~

Maybe i just give up and give in dengan Man ni. Toksah lah banyak fikir lagi. Kerja dah tetap dah, perangai so far okay lah, hmm apa lagi ehh? Just aku macam tak biasa lah dengan broken family ni. Rasa macam penat je nak bahagi masa for both family. Hmmmm sheramnyaa. Sokay lah. We'll see how. Taknak harap lelebih. If he meant for me, make it easy for us lah kan. Thats all.


Thank you for your time :)

Penangan CMCO


Hello there! Here am i again writing new post. I quite active on writing this year yaa. Am i toooo bored? LOL

Im writing here because just wanna keep track here that i really overspent during thing CMCO. I borong a  lots of perfume since they really cheap and having sale. I bought three (3) perfumes in total. 

And i did bought other things as well. You know my total spending during this CMCO period is around RM1,000 yaaa. Next month i really cannot do any shopping! I need to hold myself. Because i need to do the service and roadtax renewal.

Jannah tolonglah berjimat cermat yee. Banyak sangat dah merepek. Sekarang kena amalkan sifat berjimat cermat. Keluar duit bila perlu. Shopping bila perlu je. Faham tak Nurul Jannah Binti Yusri?!?!

Jangan sampai kena azan kat sebelah telinga. Dengan keadaan ekonomi sekarang yang tak berapa menentu. Tah-tah anytime je boleh kena retrench :( So, please think before buy k after this.

Sekian.

Thank you for your time :)

ALHAMDULILLAH...


Assalamualaikum gaiss! Im sooo happy yesterday. Not that kind happy, but i feel like finally one of my dream lah. 26 years old living, this year i manage to khatam Quran during Ramadhan. How bless am i. Every year im hoping that i can khatam during Ramadhan but didnt manage to. But this year, i manage to khatam. Untick one of my wishlist heheheh. Few more to go!

I cannot raya with family this year, but i manage to khatam Quran. So Allah is the best planner! He know what best for us. Maybe if this COVID-19 didnt occur, i can raya with family. But i still cannot khatam Quran. So, thats the good side that i can think off to soothe myself at this moment. Actually, i dont feel that sad lah at this moment. But dont know lah what will happen on 1st Syawal kan hikhikhik.

It's okay lah. Just think the good vibe only. So that, you'll bit calm. Hahahahah matured nya jannah. Well, i'm 26 okay next week. Past the young age d hahahaha. Dont know nak happy ke sedih ke excited lol. Age is just a number. What important is i look young~ Alhamdulillah (masuk bakul, angkat sendiri) I should be thankful that i have a sweet face hukhukhuk k bai.


Thank you for your time :)

Permit Going Back KL


Hello! Last Sunday i went to Balai Polis Tanjung Minyak to get permit to go back KL since need to resume back working at the office. At first the officer wanna reject my letter since Jeanie didnt specialized that email just for me. And my backup letter very simple. I need to re-write the letter.

Police A: pi mintak A4 kat depan. Buat baru
Police B: just tambah kat sini je. Takyah buat baru. Pi depan, tambah

I end up followed Police B since imma lazy person kan. Hahahaha. But kena told off dengan Police A since he want the new one. And of course lah i vent out to Police B since he ask me to just do on the current paper but he just 'what? I dont know' So jahat!

Then i need to write the whole letter by hand! Last time i wrote long letter was nine years back during high school. How fast time flies kan~ With the buruk punya handwritten, i dont care anymore. But like seriously, my handwriting buruk gila. Malu sungguh nak bagi orang baca. But sokay lah, thats how my writing.

During the process, the police keep on joking and playing with me and kiddingly asked to give my number to one of the police there. Then i go back inside again checking my letter for approval with Police A. 


Police A: Letter ni tak lengkap. What if i rejected this?

Me: lagi bagus. Haa, reject lah heheheheh

Police A: *shocked* Saya choped sini application denied then awak tak boleh balik.
Me: Hahahhahaha. Please lah reject! Tak payah lah saya balik KL. Saya nak raya sini


Police A: Haha. Awak ni dah kenapa? Orang lain semua sibuk nak balik, awak taknak balik. Hafiz, kau tengok budak ni piz! Dia taknak balik. Dia suruh aku reject surat dia

Police B: awak dah kenapa? Awak nak ngelat eh taknak buat kerja? Ke work from home?

Me: No, saya tak ngelat pun. Saya still kena buat kerja. Tapi work from home. Saya taknak balik bukan sebab taknak buat kerja. Saya taknak raya sensorang je. Dah balik sana nanti, dah tak boleh balik sini. Saya taknak raya sensorang :(

Police B: Ha memang lah tak boleh balik raya. Unless awak kawin dengan polis. Boleh lah balik raya. Tu depan tu ada sorang bujang tu

Police A: So ni awak nak balik bila ni? 7hb ke 8hb

Me: Bagi lah paling lambat. Kalau boleh balik 11hb pun boleh jugak

Police A: 8hb lah ye? Kang lelama takut bos awak suspicious pulak. Kalau awak kena buang kerja macam mana.

Me: Hmm, 8hb pun 8hb la :(

Police B: nak balik nanti bagitahu eh. Nanti kitorang escort

So far, im happy lah. Takde lah takut sangat since dorang pun friendly. Cuma little did i hope yang that guy text me hahahahaha Ya Ampun gedik nya perangai. Sebab that guy manis weh huhuhuh. Tinggi, kulit gelap dari i. Memang taste i huhuhuh. Nampak tak miang aku cane lol 

So conclusionnya, i kena balik KL, start kerja next week and kena raya sensorang. Not sensorang lah. Ada Kema jugak untuk raya. But she got her uncle and aunty here. So, lucky for her. Sad for me :( Sokay lah. Life is not like we always want. They might be some onak dan duri in the journey heheheheh So i'm okay with that. Chaiyook! Jannah dah besar kan? Jannah kena kuatkan hati. Yakin boleh! Eventho mesti sebak punya. Tengah type ni pun sebak dada aku hahahahhaa. Okay, adios~

Thank you for your time :)