Hello guys! Here am i again. Ranting about my feeling as usual. Hmmm yesterday (22nd April 2020) i block Man on whatsapp because he cabar me hahahhaha. Yesterday i keep doing whatever he cabar me to. And i dont know why yesterday he a bit different. He didnt tell me how his day like he always did before. But he say i'm the one who act differently.
Hahahha yaaa in a way. I send him voice note saying i miss him coz he request that and the way he laughed after that like he damn happy hahaha. And i keep on end call coz he thought i dont dare to do that. He said 'before this yes lah berani. But now mesti tak berani'. Then i call off the call. Then he text me saying he merajuk, then in short while i call him back saying i'm having fun doing this. Which is not in my norm that i will act like that before k. Maybe i'm showing him sign that i like him(?) i dont know.
So after i block him, today he message me Ramadhan wish and i did reply. BUT he didnt reply me yet 😞 How dare he didnt reply me? Now i felt sad. It's okay, see tonight he call me or not. If he's not calling me than i know lah where's my level 😒
Actually, i also wanna check what is my feeling actually. I dont know whether i'm lonely and i layan him to cover my boredom OR i already start to like him. How can i differentiate those two? I dont know. Did i like him? Can i accept him? He say need to try to figure out whether both compatible or not. But, i scared let say we're not compatible but i feel attached to him d. So how? I scared to be heart broken again and again and again. Tired lah
So, at the end dont know lah. My plan see whether how long should i block him. Did i feel something. If i feel something, then i just confess to him je lah. But, did he felt the same way? Scared lah. All this while, yes his way seems like that. But who know, boy always be boy. He treat all equally. Hmmmm what happen leh. I dont know anymore. Bencilah nak kena fikir macam ni.
Tired d. Before this i already firm with my decision that i wanna be andartu. But, people keep coming try to prove me wrong then make me shaking like that, then ghost~ Shit lahh. Penat tahu! Ya Allah, help me. I pray again this time like how i pray before for Fizal and Amsyar. And i will patiently waiting for the result. And i need to be ready for whatever outcome that will lay in front of me. Ya Allah, give me some mercy. Please ease my mind.
Confuse